If couples counselling is something you have considered for weeks, months or years you are not alone. On average, a couple will consider couples counselling for 6 years before booking an appointment. That means 6 years of being unhappy, of reinforcing patterns that can lead to resentment or feelings of betrayal. So, why do we wait? 

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Myths of couples counselling

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Myth: Going to counselling means we have failed as a couple, and I should feel ashamed.

Fact: Couples counselling is an investment in yourself, your relationship and your future. It simply means that you are ready for new skills, tools and knowledge so you can enjoy your relationship. 

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Myth: We have to be in a fight for counselling to work.

Fact: Our best learning doesn't happen when our emotions are steeped in hurt and negativity. Counselling is a great time to acquire skills, especially when you are open and ready to receive them.

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Myth: I just know that the counsellor is going to side with my partner and say I'm the problem.

Fact: It is so important that you find a counsellor who is bias-free and respects both partners. The point of couples counselling is not to place blame and find out who is in the wrong; one of the goals is to provide a safe space for both partners to be heard and understood so we can start increasing positivity and decreasing negativity in all interactions.

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Myth: It is a huge time commitment.

Fact: You are not required to attend a fixed number of sessions. While you are expected to engage in each session, the extra time commitment is really based on what you would like to get out of the process. There is weekly homework for the couple, and engaging with it will be very helpful to the process.

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